As a six year Flybaby, I have discovered what works for me and disregaurded what doesn't. I insist on taking care of Mom so that she ( I ) can take care of everyone else. I work part time and my schedule is predominantly afternoons by choice. Many don't understand why I choose not to work daylight shift.
If I didn't stipulate my hours, I would be working 2-3 shifts all in one week. Now it's hard on your body to work 3 shifts in 3 weeks let alone in one week. It reeks havic on your health and I refuse to allow my immune system to get wrecked! As I cannot request steady daylight (it's just not done--management would howl uncontrollably), I chose the other route. Occassionally, if needed, I can be persuaded to do the odd midnight shift or an emergency 4 to 1pm shift--but only in emergency situations.
This schedule allows me to have the quiet solitude I crave, take care of the daily needs of my family and take care of personal needs such as Doctor appointments...etc. I work less than 20 hrs a week so I still get to have time with my family, as well.
It didn't used to be this way. Everyone else was more important than me. I was raised to martyr myself. "I'm tooooo tired", was my pat answer to everything. Now I listen to my body and don't allow others to abuse me (I see being taken for granted as abuse, too) I am a much calmer, more relaxed and yes, healthier person. Everyone should remember to take care of themselves. Loving yourself is something that you must do before you are capable of loving others.
Thanks, Marla
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
Decorating Affects....
I've spent the last 6 weeks painting and cleaning my home. Preparing for a party. I made an amazing discovery (at least to me) about how decor affects mood. Now, I've known that color plays an important part in mood. Warm colors energize us and cool colors calm us. But I hadn't given much thought as to how prints and patterns affect us.
The previous owner had wall papered the entry, stairwell and dining room with verticle stripes that stopped halfway up the wall and then finished with a paisley border. It was a very traditional, formal decor. They had also papered the 1/2 bath a disgusting yellow with sea shells...ugh After I stripped the wall paper, I painted the rooms white. I like color, but I wanted a "cheap" improvement and I found paint clearance down to 4 bucks a can....what can I say?
I LOVE IT!! The visual CHAOS is gone. I enjoy being in these rooms now. Before, I would rush through them as quickly as possible. I finished my decorating spree by repainting the kitchen a teal that just makes the woodwork SING! I think having these rooms white just makes the kitchen even more impressive....BAM as E would say.
The previous owner had wall papered the entry, stairwell and dining room with verticle stripes that stopped halfway up the wall and then finished with a paisley border. It was a very traditional, formal decor. They had also papered the 1/2 bath a disgusting yellow with sea shells...ugh After I stripped the wall paper, I painted the rooms white. I like color, but I wanted a "cheap" improvement and I found paint clearance down to 4 bucks a can....what can I say?
I LOVE IT!! The visual CHAOS is gone. I enjoy being in these rooms now. Before, I would rush through them as quickly as possible. I finished my decorating spree by repainting the kitchen a teal that just makes the woodwork SING! I think having these rooms white just makes the kitchen even more impressive....BAM as E would say.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Gram
Today is Gram's Funeral. I woke to a huge T-Storm. Gram would have loved it.
Yesterday was hard. To see her body and not the Soul that drove it was painful. Gram was ready but we sure aren't.
Yesterday was hard. To see her body and not the Soul that drove it was painful. Gram was ready but we sure aren't.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
In Memory Of My Frugal Hero...
Maybelle Hester
May 26, 1926 - August 5, 2007
Her dash (-) touched and inspired all who knew and loved her. God took her to be with Gramps this morning. She went the way she asked to go--in her sleep . She had 5 syblings and attended her last sybling's (Earl) funeral just this past week. They were very close.
Gran lost her own mother at the age of 4 due to complications of asthma (pneumonia set in after getting caught in the rain). This, I believe, had a profound impact on Gram. Why do I say this? Because my father was not her son by blood. She took my father in when he was 3 weeks old and half dead from neglect and mistreatment. She was an unmarried woman at the time and worked as a housekeeper. Although she never legally adopted my father, he was her son in all but blood. I owe my very existance to this woman.
She later took a job at a local pottery to provide for herself and Dad. During that time (and w/o a high school diploma) she went to school and graduated, took her boards and became a Registered Nurse. For years my Gran owned and operated a nursing home. Her residents were well cared for and she was loved and respected for her generous heart.
Gran was human, too. Before Dad came into the picture, she and 2 friends, known as the Golden Girls, loved to party. Gran loved to laugh. I think the only time I ever saw her w/o a smile on her lips was when Grandpa died.
Gran met and wed my Grandpa while she worked at the pottery. He was 20 years her senior and I never saw a couple that loved each other so well. Grandpa was born in 1904 and passed on December 15, 1990. They had two boys and 2 girls. Gran sold the nursing home when Grandpa died.
Grams favorite color was red and she loved broaches. I seldom saw her without an apron or a smock (her at home work uniform). Gram was a frugal diva. She loved to cook and bake. What I remember most about Gram....She left a huge Santa up year round. This was a reminder to always keep Christmas in her heart through out the year. I asked.. :o) also, it wasn't Thanksgiving unless you ate at least one Cranberry!
At the age of 81 she still cooked and cleaned in her own home. My Aunt lived with her the last couple of years but not because Gram needed her too. But because she liked the company.
Gram is survived by 3 sons, 1 daughter, 6 grandchildren, 18 Great and 1 Great Great Grandchild.
I was priveledged to know and love my Gram for 40 yrs. and her greatest gift to me was to remember to live life in your own style and never take love for granted!
I feel better for having written this. She lived thru A LOT of history and loved to talk about her life as a girl and the differences of then and now. She was an amazing woman and I only wish I had known her better than I did.
I love you, Gram!
Lorrie
May 26, 1926 - August 5, 2007
Her dash (-) touched and inspired all who knew and loved her. God took her to be with Gramps this morning. She went the way she asked to go--in her sleep . She had 5 syblings and attended her last sybling's (Earl) funeral just this past week. They were very close.
Gran lost her own mother at the age of 4 due to complications of asthma (pneumonia set in after getting caught in the rain). This, I believe, had a profound impact on Gram. Why do I say this? Because my father was not her son by blood. She took my father in when he was 3 weeks old and half dead from neglect and mistreatment. She was an unmarried woman at the time and worked as a housekeeper. Although she never legally adopted my father, he was her son in all but blood. I owe my very existance to this woman.
She later took a job at a local pottery to provide for herself and Dad. During that time (and w/o a high school diploma) she went to school and graduated, took her boards and became a Registered Nurse. For years my Gran owned and operated a nursing home. Her residents were well cared for and she was loved and respected for her generous heart.
Gran was human, too. Before Dad came into the picture, she and 2 friends, known as the Golden Girls, loved to party. Gran loved to laugh. I think the only time I ever saw her w/o a smile on her lips was when Grandpa died.
Gran met and wed my Grandpa while she worked at the pottery. He was 20 years her senior and I never saw a couple that loved each other so well. Grandpa was born in 1904 and passed on December 15, 1990. They had two boys and 2 girls. Gran sold the nursing home when Grandpa died.
Grams favorite color was red and she loved broaches. I seldom saw her without an apron or a smock (her at home work uniform). Gram was a frugal diva. She loved to cook and bake. What I remember most about Gram....She left a huge Santa up year round. This was a reminder to always keep Christmas in her heart through out the year. I asked.. :o) also, it wasn't Thanksgiving unless you ate at least one Cranberry!
At the age of 81 she still cooked and cleaned in her own home. My Aunt lived with her the last couple of years but not because Gram needed her too. But because she liked the company.
Gram is survived by 3 sons, 1 daughter, 6 grandchildren, 18 Great and 1 Great Great Grandchild.
I was priveledged to know and love my Gram for 40 yrs. and her greatest gift to me was to remember to live life in your own style and never take love for granted!
I feel better for having written this. She lived thru A LOT of history and loved to talk about her life as a girl and the differences of then and now. She was an amazing woman and I only wish I had known her better than I did.
I love you, Gram!
Lorrie
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Kid's Pranks....Not Funny!
The day started well...Then MIL called and Dh said, "Yeah, I'll be right over." The front door banged as he left.
One minute later....Dh comes back in the house swearing loudly! Kids egg-ed his new truck during the night. He's had this truck for a little over a year and it is his baby.
I wanted to report it to the police but he said they won't do anything.
What makes kids think that destroying property is in the least bit funny? My husband works hard for what he has. He had his last truck for 12 yrs--bought new and taken care of. He kept it so nice that it was used as a trade in when he bought this one.
I'm not being self-righteous here...I didn't do stuff like this growing up. So I really don't understand why?
Two weeks ago, the police pulled over teens who were driving past our home...high/drunk and carrying a gun. They went past our home yelling at our daughter and some of her friends. They stopped (the teens) a neighbor boy and he saw the gun. The police were called and they were arrested. How scary is that?
I live in a SMALL town. Violence is spreading. Who has answers? Anyone?
One minute later....Dh comes back in the house swearing loudly! Kids egg-ed his new truck during the night. He's had this truck for a little over a year and it is his baby.
I wanted to report it to the police but he said they won't do anything.
What makes kids think that destroying property is in the least bit funny? My husband works hard for what he has. He had his last truck for 12 yrs--bought new and taken care of. He kept it so nice that it was used as a trade in when he bought this one.
I'm not being self-righteous here...I didn't do stuff like this growing up. So I really don't understand why?
Two weeks ago, the police pulled over teens who were driving past our home...high/drunk and carrying a gun. They went past our home yelling at our daughter and some of her friends. They stopped (the teens) a neighbor boy and he saw the gun. The police were called and they were arrested. How scary is that?
I live in a SMALL town. Violence is spreading. Who has answers? Anyone?
I'll Save This For Birtha....
I'm sure millions of 40yr + women have looked in the mirror and said, "THAT'S NOT ME!" Where did that young vibrant woman go? You know who I'm talking about! The one who could fit in a size 9/10 without laying on the bed and pulling up the zipper with a pair of plyers. Not a pretty picture, I'll admit...but I've seen it.
Where did she go? The attractive woman who wore make up and fixed her hair. Who took the time to choose and wear nice clothes--not the woman sitting at this computer in a pair of mans striped boxers and an A-shirt, ratty hair in a lopsided pony tail with yesterdays make up raccooning her eyes. At least I haven't lost my fashion sense...the A-shirt color co-ordinates with the boxers...lol ;0)
Am I sliding into a mid-life crisis? Uh....if you call what I saw in the mirror a mid-life crisis...then yeah...that's it. Personally, I see it as a wake up call!
It really started last night when I got home from work. My Dh (He's not perfect but he's the perfect man for me) had saved me a plate of dinner--Spagetti. He'd piled it high. All I could see was Mt. Fanny gaining girth and attitude. In self-defense I plunged my fork into the very heart of Mt. Fanny and twirled the spagetti into it's tines. I then said, "Thank you, but I think I'll save this for Birtha!" and plopped it back into the pan.
Who is Birtha? Birth-a-me and I can't wait to see how she turns out!
Where did she go? The attractive woman who wore make up and fixed her hair. Who took the time to choose and wear nice clothes--not the woman sitting at this computer in a pair of mans striped boxers and an A-shirt, ratty hair in a lopsided pony tail with yesterdays make up raccooning her eyes. At least I haven't lost my fashion sense...the A-shirt color co-ordinates with the boxers...lol ;0)
Am I sliding into a mid-life crisis? Uh....if you call what I saw in the mirror a mid-life crisis...then yeah...that's it. Personally, I see it as a wake up call!
It really started last night when I got home from work. My Dh (He's not perfect but he's the perfect man for me) had saved me a plate of dinner--Spagetti. He'd piled it high. All I could see was Mt. Fanny gaining girth and attitude. In self-defense I plunged my fork into the very heart of Mt. Fanny and twirled the spagetti into it's tines. I then said, "Thank you, but I think I'll save this for Birtha!" and plopped it back into the pan.
Who is Birtha? Birth-a-me and I can't wait to see how she turns out!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Hoarding....
I have been a Fly Baby for 6 yrs. Follow the FlyLady link to discover the joys of Flying (Finally Loving Yourself). A testimonial was sent out today about Children of Hoarders, along with a site that helps these children deal with their parents hoarding. It was a frightening thing to see.
When I looked at video's posted by these adult C.O.H.'s, I saw what my life could become without flying. Those videos seem to shortcurcuit my brain. I lost 2 hours of my life just looking and feeling overwhelmed by someone elses hoarded clutter. Paths thru clutter to a made bed (slightly rumpled)--Mountains of junk mail, piles of books and magazines that had tumbled to the floor--Piles of clothes that were a fire hazard...the whole place was a fire waiting to happen.
Hoarding isn't exclusive to inanimate objects. The animal abuse stories in the news...homes filled with 70 cats...etc. In one home an elderly lady insisted (while they removed animal after animal) that she only had 7 cats. It was horrific. The smell of feces and amonia overwhelmed the animal rescuers. The health issues for the woman and the animals were incredible.
Hoarding is now being considered a mental illness and studies are being conducted to find ways to deal with this illness. To find out more: www.childrenofhoarders.com
Like many other disorders, it doesn't happen over night...it starts out with "oh, I might need that someday" and then one day you open your eyes to discover your surrounded by a nightmare. Unfortunately, some never wake up from that nightmare. Some are found lying amongst their treasures injured or dead.
When I looked at video's posted by these adult C.O.H.'s, I saw what my life could become without flying. Those videos seem to shortcurcuit my brain. I lost 2 hours of my life just looking and feeling overwhelmed by someone elses hoarded clutter. Paths thru clutter to a made bed (slightly rumpled)--Mountains of junk mail, piles of books and magazines that had tumbled to the floor--Piles of clothes that were a fire hazard...the whole place was a fire waiting to happen.
Hoarding isn't exclusive to inanimate objects. The animal abuse stories in the news...homes filled with 70 cats...etc. In one home an elderly lady insisted (while they removed animal after animal) that she only had 7 cats. It was horrific. The smell of feces and amonia overwhelmed the animal rescuers. The health issues for the woman and the animals were incredible.
Hoarding is now being considered a mental illness and studies are being conducted to find ways to deal with this illness. To find out more: www.childrenofhoarders.com
Like many other disorders, it doesn't happen over night...it starts out with "oh, I might need that someday" and then one day you open your eyes to discover your surrounded by a nightmare. Unfortunately, some never wake up from that nightmare. Some are found lying amongst their treasures injured or dead.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Whose to blame....or the old adage...you can lead a horse to water....but you can't make him drink.
It's the parents fault...God, am I so tired of hearing that phrase! The Education System is NEVER at fault...And lets NEVER blame Junior. Blaming Junior (Holding Junior responsible for his action or inaction) would never do... It could damage his Psyche and we wouldn't want to be responsible for that, now would we? Well that's just, in the immortal words of Vizzini the Sicilian, INCONCEIVABLE !!!
Well, let's just blame the economy....Mom and Dad have to work to support Jr, not to mention "The Joneses" (that's another post in the future). Is it a wonder parents are plagued with high-blood pressure, diabetes, indigestion, hair-loss? Should Junior be held accountable (at the age of 12 and 16) for maintaining his/her grade level? Yes!
I have 2 children. My children are near extremes on the educational scale of effort. Child A only does what's necessary to pass. Child B enjoys learning and manages a nearly straight A status. Both are bright and articulate. Regardless of attempts to help Child A see the necessity of education...the opportunities available if Child A would only grasp them... parental efforts have been fruitless, thus far.
Child A still has time to alter the future. Child B, so long as the current path is maintained, will have many opportunities that will remain out of reach for Child A. Can you feel my frustration? Consequences are set and enforced. Nothing seems to phase Child A.
I am realistic. I don't blame the education system for Child A's lack of effort. That responsibility sits squarely on Child A who knows what is expected but puts everything off to the last minute and then tries to find an excuse as to why said assignment wasn't finished. BTW...Child A says next year will be different. Child A says this every year.
My Children are individuals with unique abilities. Both are equally intelligent and have equal access to opportunities. Each has chosen different paths. I am responsible for guiding them toward their adult life. Ultimately it is a matter of what they choose to do.
BTW...I'm sure I'm not finished with this subject!
Well, let's just blame the economy....Mom and Dad have to work to support Jr, not to mention "The Joneses" (that's another post in the future). Is it a wonder parents are plagued with high-blood pressure, diabetes, indigestion, hair-loss? Should Junior be held accountable (at the age of 12 and 16) for maintaining his/her grade level? Yes!
I have 2 children. My children are near extremes on the educational scale of effort. Child A only does what's necessary to pass. Child B enjoys learning and manages a nearly straight A status. Both are bright and articulate. Regardless of attempts to help Child A see the necessity of education...the opportunities available if Child A would only grasp them... parental efforts have been fruitless, thus far.
Child A still has time to alter the future. Child B, so long as the current path is maintained, will have many opportunities that will remain out of reach for Child A. Can you feel my frustration? Consequences are set and enforced. Nothing seems to phase Child A.
I am realistic. I don't blame the education system for Child A's lack of effort. That responsibility sits squarely on Child A who knows what is expected but puts everything off to the last minute and then tries to find an excuse as to why said assignment wasn't finished. BTW...Child A says next year will be different. Child A says this every year.
My Children are individuals with unique abilities. Both are equally intelligent and have equal access to opportunities. Each has chosen different paths. I am responsible for guiding them toward their adult life. Ultimately it is a matter of what they choose to do.
BTW...I'm sure I'm not finished with this subject!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Mother, Will you pour?
Listening to my twin sing lymerics from the other end of the phone. I feel like the sane one....Mother, will you pour? Then she asks... One lump or Two?
Ok...About me?
I'm a 40 and am privelidged to share my life history with a twin sister (Laura). Unique paths that travel and cross each other. The connection is indescribable and I could not imagine my life without her. When I'm being too serious she gives me a swift kick and reminds me to laugh. Twins born librians....Laura mentioned this to me today... she's right--we balance each other. :O)
A few labels (not that I like to be pigeon-holed) wife, mother and amateur portrait artist. When people see my drawings they ask why I work? As any other "artist" will tell you...to pay the bills. I'll never be a Rembrandt, but I have my place in this world.
Wife to Daniel for 6 yrs. I am blessed. A second marriage for both of us. We wish we had waited for each other.
Mother to Emily (16) and Matthew (12). I love them both.
Em can be difficult...what teen isn't? But she has viewpoints that make me think. I watch as she discovers her world. It's scarey at times, but seeing thru her eyes can be exciting. Letting her make her own mistakes is painful. The things you learn as a parent.
Matthew is just discovering himself. Beginning to take tentative independant steps. Sometimes he still wants to hold my hand.
I'll remember these times in the years ahead when they don't need me so much.
Ok...About me?
I'm a 40 and am privelidged to share my life history with a twin sister (Laura). Unique paths that travel and cross each other. The connection is indescribable and I could not imagine my life without her. When I'm being too serious she gives me a swift kick and reminds me to laugh. Twins born librians....Laura mentioned this to me today... she's right--we balance each other. :O)
A few labels (not that I like to be pigeon-holed) wife, mother and amateur portrait artist. When people see my drawings they ask why I work? As any other "artist" will tell you...to pay the bills. I'll never be a Rembrandt, but I have my place in this world.
Wife to Daniel for 6 yrs. I am blessed. A second marriage for both of us. We wish we had waited for each other.
Mother to Emily (16) and Matthew (12). I love them both.
Em can be difficult...what teen isn't? But she has viewpoints that make me think. I watch as she discovers her world. It's scarey at times, but seeing thru her eyes can be exciting. Letting her make her own mistakes is painful. The things you learn as a parent.
Matthew is just discovering himself. Beginning to take tentative independant steps. Sometimes he still wants to hold my hand.
I'll remember these times in the years ahead when they don't need me so much.
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