I have been a Fly Baby for 6 yrs. Follow the FlyLady link to discover the joys of Flying (Finally Loving Yourself). A testimonial was sent out today about Children of Hoarders, along with a site that helps these children deal with their parents hoarding. It was a frightening thing to see.
When I looked at video's posted by these adult C.O.H.'s, I saw what my life could become without flying. Those videos seem to shortcurcuit my brain. I lost 2 hours of my life just looking and feeling overwhelmed by someone elses hoarded clutter. Paths thru clutter to a made bed (slightly rumpled)--Mountains of junk mail, piles of books and magazines that had tumbled to the floor--Piles of clothes that were a fire hazard...the whole place was a fire waiting to happen.
Hoarding isn't exclusive to inanimate objects. The animal abuse stories in the news...homes filled with 70 cats...etc. In one home an elderly lady insisted (while they removed animal after animal) that she only had 7 cats. It was horrific. The smell of feces and amonia overwhelmed the animal rescuers. The health issues for the woman and the animals were incredible.
Hoarding is now being considered a mental illness and studies are being conducted to find ways to deal with this illness. To find out more: www.childrenofhoarders.com
Like many other disorders, it doesn't happen over night...it starts out with "oh, I might need that someday" and then one day you open your eyes to discover your surrounded by a nightmare. Unfortunately, some never wake up from that nightmare. Some are found lying amongst their treasures injured or dead.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
Whose to blame....or the old adage...you can lead a horse to water....but you can't make him drink.
It's the parents fault...God, am I so tired of hearing that phrase! The Education System is NEVER at fault...And lets NEVER blame Junior. Blaming Junior (Holding Junior responsible for his action or inaction) would never do... It could damage his Psyche and we wouldn't want to be responsible for that, now would we? Well that's just, in the immortal words of Vizzini the Sicilian, INCONCEIVABLE !!!
Well, let's just blame the economy....Mom and Dad have to work to support Jr, not to mention "The Joneses" (that's another post in the future). Is it a wonder parents are plagued with high-blood pressure, diabetes, indigestion, hair-loss? Should Junior be held accountable (at the age of 12 and 16) for maintaining his/her grade level? Yes!
I have 2 children. My children are near extremes on the educational scale of effort. Child A only does what's necessary to pass. Child B enjoys learning and manages a nearly straight A status. Both are bright and articulate. Regardless of attempts to help Child A see the necessity of education...the opportunities available if Child A would only grasp them... parental efforts have been fruitless, thus far.
Child A still has time to alter the future. Child B, so long as the current path is maintained, will have many opportunities that will remain out of reach for Child A. Can you feel my frustration? Consequences are set and enforced. Nothing seems to phase Child A.
I am realistic. I don't blame the education system for Child A's lack of effort. That responsibility sits squarely on Child A who knows what is expected but puts everything off to the last minute and then tries to find an excuse as to why said assignment wasn't finished. BTW...Child A says next year will be different. Child A says this every year.
My Children are individuals with unique abilities. Both are equally intelligent and have equal access to opportunities. Each has chosen different paths. I am responsible for guiding them toward their adult life. Ultimately it is a matter of what they choose to do.
BTW...I'm sure I'm not finished with this subject!
Well, let's just blame the economy....Mom and Dad have to work to support Jr, not to mention "The Joneses" (that's another post in the future). Is it a wonder parents are plagued with high-blood pressure, diabetes, indigestion, hair-loss? Should Junior be held accountable (at the age of 12 and 16) for maintaining his/her grade level? Yes!
I have 2 children. My children are near extremes on the educational scale of effort. Child A only does what's necessary to pass. Child B enjoys learning and manages a nearly straight A status. Both are bright and articulate. Regardless of attempts to help Child A see the necessity of education...the opportunities available if Child A would only grasp them... parental efforts have been fruitless, thus far.
Child A still has time to alter the future. Child B, so long as the current path is maintained, will have many opportunities that will remain out of reach for Child A. Can you feel my frustration? Consequences are set and enforced. Nothing seems to phase Child A.
I am realistic. I don't blame the education system for Child A's lack of effort. That responsibility sits squarely on Child A who knows what is expected but puts everything off to the last minute and then tries to find an excuse as to why said assignment wasn't finished. BTW...Child A says next year will be different. Child A says this every year.
My Children are individuals with unique abilities. Both are equally intelligent and have equal access to opportunities. Each has chosen different paths. I am responsible for guiding them toward their adult life. Ultimately it is a matter of what they choose to do.
BTW...I'm sure I'm not finished with this subject!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Mother, Will you pour?
Listening to my twin sing lymerics from the other end of the phone. I feel like the sane one....Mother, will you pour? Then she asks... One lump or Two?
Ok...About me?
I'm a 40 and am privelidged to share my life history with a twin sister (Laura). Unique paths that travel and cross each other. The connection is indescribable and I could not imagine my life without her. When I'm being too serious she gives me a swift kick and reminds me to laugh. Twins born librians....Laura mentioned this to me today... she's right--we balance each other. :O)
A few labels (not that I like to be pigeon-holed) wife, mother and amateur portrait artist. When people see my drawings they ask why I work? As any other "artist" will tell you...to pay the bills. I'll never be a Rembrandt, but I have my place in this world.
Wife to Daniel for 6 yrs. I am blessed. A second marriage for both of us. We wish we had waited for each other.
Mother to Emily (16) and Matthew (12). I love them both.
Em can be difficult...what teen isn't? But she has viewpoints that make me think. I watch as she discovers her world. It's scarey at times, but seeing thru her eyes can be exciting. Letting her make her own mistakes is painful. The things you learn as a parent.
Matthew is just discovering himself. Beginning to take tentative independant steps. Sometimes he still wants to hold my hand.
I'll remember these times in the years ahead when they don't need me so much.
Ok...About me?
I'm a 40 and am privelidged to share my life history with a twin sister (Laura). Unique paths that travel and cross each other. The connection is indescribable and I could not imagine my life without her. When I'm being too serious she gives me a swift kick and reminds me to laugh. Twins born librians....Laura mentioned this to me today... she's right--we balance each other. :O)
A few labels (not that I like to be pigeon-holed) wife, mother and amateur portrait artist. When people see my drawings they ask why I work? As any other "artist" will tell you...to pay the bills. I'll never be a Rembrandt, but I have my place in this world.
Wife to Daniel for 6 yrs. I am blessed. A second marriage for both of us. We wish we had waited for each other.
Mother to Emily (16) and Matthew (12). I love them both.
Em can be difficult...what teen isn't? But she has viewpoints that make me think. I watch as she discovers her world. It's scarey at times, but seeing thru her eyes can be exciting. Letting her make her own mistakes is painful. The things you learn as a parent.
Matthew is just discovering himself. Beginning to take tentative independant steps. Sometimes he still wants to hold my hand.
I'll remember these times in the years ahead when they don't need me so much.
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