Your actions should reinforce your words...

Actions should reinforce words. This is not always the case.


My darling tells me how much I am loved and appreciated. The next day my darling makes breakfast and doesn't clean up. Now this is partially my responsibility. Why? because I have not taken the time to explain to my darling how this makes me feel.


I took ownership of my mistake yesterday. When I brought this to my darling's attention I was accused of trying to start a fight. I replied that , "No, I wasn't trying to start a fight." I then told my darling that, "You tell me that you love and appreciate me, but your actions negate those words." His anger subsided. He had felt that I was being mean and petty, after all, he'd only left a cup on the counter. He thought he was being nice by bringing it in to the kitchen rather than leaving it lay about the house and I did appreciate that. Unfortunately, the cup came at the end of the second round of cleaning up. The first round took 1 1/2 hours and the second another 30 minutes.

Now I tried to do the FlyLady thing and be thankful that I have a darling to clean up after. I've done this for 10 yrs and my darling still hasn't become Flywashed. I should be used to it, right? NO. FlyLady tells us not to whine. I didn't. I calmly explained why I was upset to my darling and once he understood that I was not trying to fight with him but tell him that my feelings were hurt, he calmed down and thought it through.


To be truthful, I let the kitchen go the night before which made for a bad start to my day. Regardless, being considerate of one another is a very important part of a healthy marriage. I believe that we are blessed to love each other, thankfully, he feels the same.


He is a thoughtful man. I know that our conversation left an impression and next time he will think about how his actions reinforce or negate his words.


I know that I will think about how my actions speak for me.